Pelosi Wishes People A “Happy Shwanza” In Final Speech As Speaker

What a way to end her time as Speaker of the House of Proxy Votes. Yeah, that’s what I’m calling it now because very few of them actually physically represent us as they’re paid to do, opting instead to take advantage of Pelosi’s ridiculously lax COVID proxy voting rules. Anyway, it was her final speech to Congress as the Speaker of the House of Proxy Votes and my guess is that she was sloshed. She’s obviously a functioning alcoholic, which means she’s able to function in life while she’s plastered, but she doesn’t function all that well. And this time, she wished everyone a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, and a “Happy Shwanza.” Which doesn’t exist.

Shwanza isn’t a thing, y’all. Did she maybe accidentally combine Kwanza and Shawarma? Which is still weird because one is a holiday and one is a food… My gosh, the woman is ridiculous.

Here’s a pro tip for the holidays. If you celebrate Christmas, you can say “Merry Christmas” to people. If they celebrate Christmas, then they can say “Merry Christmas” back. Likewise with Hanukkah or Kwanza. If they celebrate something other than what you said, they can respond with whatever they celebrate. For example, “Merry Christmas, Sir!” “And Happy Hanukkah to you, Ma’am!” If they celebrate nothing, they can say “Happy Holidays,” “enjoy the season,” “enjoy the weather,” or even just “Thanks!” Because whatever you said would clearly be meant as a kind and joyful exclamation, not as an insult. You don’t have to be offended that someone didn’t say the thing that you celebrate, and you don’t have to start listing every single possible thing that a person might potentially celebrate just so you don’t accidentally offend someone with your celebration.