I Give You the Cringiest Biden Headline Ever, Courtesy of NPR

Breaking news: NPR is unable to locate their head, as it is firmly lodged up Biden’s a$$.

Despite her head being lost in the abyss, White House correspondent Tamara Keith can apparently still type and managed to write this gem of a headline:

“Biden had a sick burn in his State of the Union Speech. ‘Lots of luck’ explaining it”

I think I just barfed in my mouth a little. It’s giving “divorced suburban mom desperately clinging to relevance while flirting with her college son’s friends” vibes.

First, if you say “sick burn” seriously, please never speak again. You also might want to make sure your life insurance policy is up to date and check in with your local AARP rep.

Second, the level of butt-kissing going on in this article is unreal. From the cringey headline to the content within this crap sandwich, it’s a masterpiece of covering for Biden.

I’ll spare you from having to read the article, but if you want to punish yourself, you can do so here.

For those of you who want the Cliffsnotes version, I gotchu.

The article attempts to clarify Biden’s comment during his SOTU speech, “As my football coach used to say, ‘Lots of luck in your senior year,’” a comment he made as he was “… taunting Republicans who want to repeal the Inflation Reduction Act, which includes the politically popular measure to cap drug prices for seniors.”

Now most sane people would hear this joke and come to two conclusions:

1. That joke is stupid.
2. This is not shocking, because Biden says stupid things.

BUT IF YOU’RE NPR, you dive deep into the psyche of Biden (or whatever is left of it) and attempt to explain how it was really a masterful “sick burn.”

“It turns out this phrase has long been part of Biden’s folksy informal lexicon,” Tamara writes, noting he said it a few times in the 1990s and again after the midterms.

Oh, how cute, a “folksy informal lexicon.”

Quick question—was Biden also making a “folksy informal lexicon” when he said “poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids” or nah?  

Tamara goes on to note how linguist Anatoly Liberman said, “It is not listed even in the most detailed database of formulas, wishes and sayings.”

THAT’S BECAUSE BIDEN EATS GAFFES FOR BREAKFAST. Let’s not read into this too much.

But, alas, Tamara DOES read into it too much.

“Bob Markel played sports with Biden in high school and has been exposed to a lifetime of Bidenisms. … And when Markel was watching the State of the Union address, that phrase caught his ear,” Tamara writes. “‘I had the same reaction, I guess, as other people,’ said Markel. ‘Where did that come from?’ Markel figures Biden picked it up in college. NPR asked the White House which coach used the saying and what it means, and didn’t get an answer. But Markel’s guess is as good as any. ‘It is not exactly an insult, but it’s a gentle rebuke, put it that way,’ said Markel. … It’s an expression of skepticism, with a bit of a taunt built in.”

Ah yes, a real knee-slapper. And it only took an entire article, a linguist and some dude named Bob to attempt to explain it.